Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
