then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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