Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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