Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
