NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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