im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Drunk is a universal language darling
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
