i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
