i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
