the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize