It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I got chris browned last night
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
