if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize