Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
