so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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