i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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