At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
