It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
one might say we're banned from that church
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
