Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize