her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
