chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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