Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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