Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
