i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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