I hate all girls vehemently.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
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