I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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