So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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