I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
