You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
