Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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