fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
