I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
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