..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize