I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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