those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
