Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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