But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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