Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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