i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize