also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
