..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize