Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
