Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"

(1-401): View more from Rhode Island

um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her

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(401): so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night" (1-401): um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her http://tfl.nu/rdn4

Replies (12) Good night (859) Bad night (2371)
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(513): View more from Ohio

why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position

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(513): why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position http://tfl.nu/vjj2

Replies (34) Good night (15497) Bad night (1254)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees

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(724): If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees http://tfl.nu/kant

Replies (17) Good night (4342) Bad night (1264)
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(205): View more from Alabama

I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.

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(205): I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs. http://tfl.nu/sygp

Replies (34) Good night (5715) Bad night (882)
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(770): View more from Georgia

ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.

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(770): ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you. http://tfl.nu/3bx1

Replies (13) Good night (838) Bad night (4318)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Pass out mid-funnel last night.

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(603): Pass out mid-funnel last night. http://tfl.nu/a6ug

Replies (4) Good night (2396) Bad night (1829)
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(516): View more from New York

Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.

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(516): Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning. http://tfl.nu/lzds

Replies (15) Good night (776) Bad night (5337)
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(254): View more from Texas

There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator

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(254): There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator http://tfl.nu/goje

Replies (18) Good night (2618) Bad night (1571)
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(207): View more from Maine

Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.

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(207): Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity. http://tfl.nu/td06

Replies (4) Good night (2147) Bad night (767)
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(607): View more from New York

To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.

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(607): To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail. http://tfl.nu/vfu4

Replies (5) Good night (1567) Bad night (633)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant

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(604): With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant http://tfl.nu/nhig

Replies (5) Good night (634) Bad night (1261)
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(443): View more from Maryland

My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it

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(443): My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it http://tfl.nu/2q57

Replies (6) Good night (1029) Bad night (326)
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(716): View more from New York

Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at

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(716): Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at http://tfl.nu/gjoz

Replies (12) Good night (761) Bad night (324)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.

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(203): She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift. http://tfl.nu/rhgi

Replies (4) Good night (381) Bad night (695)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid

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(604): Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid http://tfl.nu/spz2

Replies (1) Good night (594) Bad night (328)

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