At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Floor bacon is actually really good
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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