Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods

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  (313): Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods http://tfl.nu/gefu
  Replies (3) Good night (713) Bad night (958)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?

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  (732): wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns? http://tfl.nu/gvvk
  Replies (51) Good night (3243) Bad night (1492)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I looked at my own cervix.

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  (713): I looked at my own cervix. http://tfl.nu/c8go
  Replies (24) Good night (966) Bad night (2864)
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  (516): View more from New York

  this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore

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  (516): this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore http://tfl.nu/7h30
  Replies (27) Good night (2280) Bad night (1021)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.

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  (678): Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college. http://tfl.nu/njr4
  Replies (26) Good night (7318) Bad night (913)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.

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  (601): Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin. http://tfl.nu/g9sf
  Replies (36) Good night (4189) Bad night (1732)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason

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  (541): I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason http://tfl.nu/z5wn
  Replies (26) Good night (712) Bad night (1780)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?

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  (402): I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF? http://tfl.nu/wyh2
  Replies (1) Good night (1209) Bad night (458)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.

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  (208): I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw. http://tfl.nu/7hkg
  Replies (3) Good night (927) Bad night (348)
• Favorite

  (936): View more from Texas

  Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.

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  (936): Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA. http://tfl.nu/7tz2
  Replies (4) Good night (654) Bad night (378)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?

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  (814): If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right? http://tfl.nu/wp41
  Replies (3) Good night (493) Bad night (402)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Also, I found your gauge.

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.

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  (570): Also, I found your gauge. (570): I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy. http://tfl.nu/i63l
  Replies (1) Good night (447) Bad night (475)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow

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  (918): I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow http://tfl.nu/sxt6
  Replies (0) Good night (498) Bad night (359)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm honored.

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  (712): I don't question myself. That's what I have you for. (402): I'm honored. http://tfl.nu/7y62
  Replies (3) Good night (668) Bad night (428)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.

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  (425): You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does. http://tfl.nu/9qkn
  Replies (3) Good night (441) Bad night (269)

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