first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?