We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
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Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
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I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
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