Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
