I wish my penis had an off switch
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize