i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
