Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
