we're blogging at a bar
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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