Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
