I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
