3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
The beer is more important than you right now.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
