would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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