I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
