We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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