Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
