I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
