I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
