was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
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