i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
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all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
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