A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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