Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
