Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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