she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
