Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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